Narrative writing

 Success Criteria: 

I  have proof-read my writing to ensure I have:

• Juicy sentence starters

• Correct punctuation - Capital letters, full stops, commas, speech marks, exclamation and question marks.

• A speech conversation in the body of my writing

• A simile in the body of my writing

• Read my writing to ensure it makes sense. 

14 September 2021

WALT:  Follow the sequence of Narrative writing

Title: Doomsday  

Shalom, today I am going to write about doomsday. On the edge of Turkey 1969 by the sea side there NZ was fighting Turkey in a giant thunderstorm and there were trenches, mortars, barbed fences, Artillery and fallen men everywhere! Turkey had taken out most of NZ’s army and all that was left was Private Beans, Private Boom and Major Deleon. Major Deleon had a large tattoo that goes up his arm and over his chest that looked like a siren tattoo from the game Borderlands 1, 2, and 3. Private Beans had a scar across his cheek and Private Boom had scars all over his body! The commander that was in battle was called Emir which means king or commander in Turkish.

Just when Private Boom, Major Deleon and Private Beans thought things couldn’t get any worse, bombs started dropping as if birds were pooping all over them. Major Deleon demanded, “Get down now!” Then the trench started to close on top of them! Private Beans exclaimed, “We need to get behind the boats now!” Once they were behind the boats the bombing stopped but then private Boom ran out from his cover taunting, “Hahaha!” Major Deleon screamed, “What is wrong with you?” Then Private Boom got shot five times in the leg. His leg was bleeding very badly too. They also had no medic or boat that was able to get Major Deleon, Private Boom and Private Beans to safety. At that moment  as soon as they thought it was the end They heard boats coming. It was their ally Australia! With their machine guns it held off Turkey so they could make progress in their mission.  

Just when they thought they could move on to their surprise, goliath sized sentry guns were planted in the way and the sentry guns were too strong! At that point  the Auzzie commander called, “We need  to head back to NZ!” As ordered  they went back to NZ and in two days turkey invaded but with Australia at NZ side they wasted Turkey’s whole army. In the end Emir was also defeated so there won’t be many wars with Turkey in it for a very loooooong time.     

In conclusion 

I would like to say

I enjoyed this very much and 

Thank you heaps for reading my story. 

Self Assessment 

What I enjoyed about my writing was when I introduced my characters Emir,  Private Beans, Major Deleon and Private Boom. My favorite is Major Deleon.  My other favorite thing to do was getting lost in my writing.

 

What I need to do to improve my writing.

• Write names in capital letters.

• Stay focused for longer periods.

• Make my story more of a Narrative.